Yep, I’ve dated lots of these guys myself: The permanently indecisive ones who like having us latched on, but don’t want to commit. It’s as if they have an invisible retractable doggie leash on us women, and the minute we get distracted and start sniffing for something better elsewhere, they lock and tug!
My question to you is this: Is this how you want to feel in a relationship? Waking up every morning unsure about whether the guy in your life is going to like you today or not? We all deserve relationships in which we feel strong, respected, adored, and loved. Is that what this relationship is giving you? Here’s my recommendation on this guy: Cut the leash! Turn off his “hot and cold” taps for good and walk away. Start thinking about what you really want: a guy who is consistently running warm for you. And, of course, some good hot stuff thrown in when you want it.
So I guess I have a question for you now: Why would you want to “get” a guy to like you? Don’t you just want him liking you for who you are without having to do anything at all? Dear daters, what do you think Diane should do?
Tags: hold and cold guy, relationship
Follow me on Facebook 
Grab the Feed (RSS)
Email Amy
Hmmm, I’ve been there – on both sides of the equation. First, I think it’s human nature to kind of “balk under pressure,” which is one way to look at what’s happening. I think we kind of need to know more about when you’re “in to him and calling” – like, how much, and how do you go about it? Is it needy? Sudden? Selfish? (e.g. not sensitive to what’s going on in his life?) I think a lot of guys – and more than a few women – have had the experience of dating someone who “clinged too tightly” (as they say in the 38 Special song) and had issues that were bigger than them. And that’s always a fear that makes people retreat. Not responding to the same degree is also a way for some people to communicate “i’m not ready to be your serious full-time S.O.” – when saying it may sound presumptuous. Then again, he could just be self-involved and all-wrong for you, and only interested in what’s not in his life?