When I talk to single friends or clients I’ve coached about their past relationships and dating experiences, one thing often comes up: The feeling that, somehow, somewhere, they blew it. And we’ve all had that feeling for some reason, right?
Author Marianne Williamson
Maybe you said something to a boyfriend or girlfriend that led to a breakup. Maybe you didn’t admit your feelings to a friend you liked and they started dating someone else instead. And, man, nothing is worse than that feeling of regret. It sits like a rock in your stomach, and turns over in circles when you think about it, making you want to upchuck the whole experience and do it all over.
Well, that’s not how life works, of course. We can’t re-do the past—but we can affect the future and make sure we don’t re-do our mistakes all over again. This past week, I went to see Marianne Williamson speak in L.A., and of the many brilliant things she said, this was one of them:
“What’s worse than, “I blew it”? “I blew it again. And I knew better.”
Since you can’t change your past, be conscious today and this weekend of learning from the times you think you think you “blew it.” If you think you blew it with an ex by nagging or pushing him, work on your communications skills for your next relationship. If you think you blew it with someone you liked by not making a move, work on your confidence. And if you think you’ve blown it by choosing the same lame types of partners in the past (the hot one instead of the nice one, the cool one instead of the smart one, the clingy one instead of the independent one) then choose more wisely the next time.
It doesn’t matter if you think you’ve blown it in the past. We’ve all felt the rock of regret. But as Marianne Williamson says, let go of the past and just do it right this time. You know better now. Do it right the way you know you can.
You might also like:
Get Un-LOST: Nothing’s Irreversible
A Miyagi Love Moment
Big love,
Follow me on Facebook 
Grab the Feed (RSS)
Email Amy
OMG, I was there too! I love her Tuesday night sessions. Between this and Temescal Canyon, we should meet up! Anyway, great post and keep these coming.
what if you’re old and you’ve run out of chances? and there are no more “this times”?
Kelly, how funny! Clearly we have great taste, ha.
And Cee, I really, truly don’t think anyone is EVER too old to have run out of chances or “this times.” If you’re 98 and bedridden, I suppose you’d be in a tough position to take a chance–but I’m sorry, it STILL wouldn’t be too late. And for all of us who are anything less “old” than that, there is always another time, another day, another chance if you SEE it with your own eyes, if you can see a positive future. If you don’t see that for yourself, then it’s unlikely to come into your life. So open a tiny window (like one of those old car dashboard windows even) to the possibility that you have another chance. Want it and ask for it. Because I don’t think there’s a day in our lives that is EVER too late to reach out for love. That’s my take, anyway… —Amy