I was talking to a single friend of mine this weekend about what she was looking for in a relationship. After she rattled off her list—and it was a long one—she laughed. “Wow, that’s a lot of stuff,” she said. “I guess I want too much, huh.”
Addison Montgomery wants it all.
I used to think the same thing. After all, how could I get all I wanted to feel in a relationship—feeling appreciated, pretty, smart, funny, needed and special—in one succinct and sexy package? Well, you get it by wanting it. By wanting it and asking for it. Just like you only get the In ‘n’ Out burger “Animal Style” with sautéed onions on it if you want it and ask for that!
It brought to mind a week-old episode of Private Practice, which, over its two seasons, has really grown on me. Even that odd little pouty thing Addison keeps doing with her mouth. One scene was based on a conversation between Addison (Grey’s Anatomy spinoff star Kate Walsh) and Sheldon (the former Dream On star Brian Benben). Both single, both searching.
Sheldon: Is there some glaringly obvious reason why I’m everybody’s second choice?
Addison: Ah, you and me both.
Sheldon: No. Anyone that could choose you, would. You just can’t quite decide what you want.
Addison: Yeah, well, apparently I want everything.
Sheldon: Yeah, you do, and you should get everything. You’re just scared of what it will mean. And being scared…no one lays on a death bed and wishing they had less, less love, no one. So if you love the guy, Addison, for God’s sake, don’t let it get away.
Yes, Addison is lucky. She has a guy she loves in mind. But you don’t need a specific guy or girl in mind. You just need to know how you want to feel with the right person. And when you’re making that mental list, you should want everything and you should get everything. Don’t be scared that asking for it will hold you back. Because asking for it is the one thing that will open your whole world up.
Big love,
Tags: Addison, Kate Walsh, Private Practice, single
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I love Private Practice! And that part of the show made me smile, because it’s true. I want everything, and there’s probably MORE that I want that I don’t know yet. I cannot wait to find that guy
The other night I was out with friends from work. A friend’s boyfriend (the couple is in their fifties and like my aunt and uncle) was watching me laugh and joke around with everyone. He turned to her and said, “Why is Jennifer still single?” To which she replied, “She’s not going to settle.”
When she told me about this little exchange, it warmed my heart. I can’t wait for the day that I meet the man that I don’t have to settle for. There is nothing wrong with wanting it all.
Nicki, I love your optimism. That’s what it’s alllll about.
And Jennifer, what a great story! I’d also take that as a compliment. Some people look at “not wanting to settle” as being closed off, but I see it as being open to the possibility of how GREAT your future relationship can be. You can’t get it all unless you want it all! —Amy