Let this nourish your optimism and happiness all week long.
Your dose for today…
“Go out on a limb—that’s where the fruit is.” —Jimmy Carter
You can't eat it if you don't reach to pluck it (and yes, tomato is a fruit, remember?) Image: Amy Spencer
We’ve all reached out for things we didn’t get: We apply for a big reach college that doesn’t accept us. We pitch an idea for our dream product that doesn’t get past the first round. And in love, we express our feelings for someone who doesn’t feel the love for us. Losing what we wanted leaves us hurt, bruised and fallen. But it should never, ever leave us too injured to try again. Life and love are all about reaching out. You can’t get what you don’t ask for and you can’t receive love if you don’t give it.
The best things on this earth come from hard-to-reach places, both outside and within yourself. So go out on a limb in love: Tell the person you like how you feel, ask out that stranger at the bus stop, be honest in your online profile about the “serious relationship” you want. Sure, sometimes you’ll get bruised. But other times, reaching out will get you that sweet, delicious, perfect, plump fruit that made going out on a limb so worth it after all.
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[...] VITAMIN OPTIMISM: Reach for the Fruit — The Dating Optimist [...]
Thanks, Amy! This is a great optimism. I’ve been hurt/bruised before… but it just makes me want to try harder because I know someone even BETTER is out there for me!
I saw this post yesterday and it came just at the right time. A guy who I work closely with, who I’m keen on and who I feel/felt great chemistry with was told yesterday that his job is (effectively) going. We’re good friends and I’d wondered (from some comments that he’d made or the way he made them) if there might be something more.
I’d been hoping he might be my half-orange. But had been removing the pressure by believing that things would emerge in due course if I continued to focus on how I wanted to feel in a relationship rather than who I wanted to be with. Yesterday’s news threw this into a spin.
I was sad anyway from the news that he was leaving – I’ll miss him as a friend at least – but also wanted to know where I stood with him. He suggested a drink after work and I wanted to tell him how I felt but at the same time was afraid to.
Then I came across this post and it gave me the courage at the end of the evening to tell him I’d miss him. I did it in probably the wrong way (I got a bit tearful but that’s me) but at least I told him. And it means that I have a better idea where we’re at.
It hurts like mad because at least for the moment I don’t think he sees me as anything more than a good friend and really helpful colleague so I have to deal with my own feelings. But I’m thankful for this Vitamin post because otherwise I’d still be sitting here today scared to say anything and then end up when he leaves kicking myself and thinking ‘if only I’d said…’. And reading it again today brings comfort and hope that the next time I’m in a similar situation it might bring better news.
You have to take risks in life or else we’re always asking “what if” thank you!
Amen Nicki — if you’re not being treated like you deserve (ouch) then stay out on that branch, because something better is there for you.
Elizabeth, LOVE your story. So so true for so many people. Those things do hurt like mad for the moment, but I think what’s worse are those feelings of regret and kicking ourselves. It’s better for the soul, I think, to reach out and possibly be turned down than never to risk it.
Like EA says, “What if” will hurt more eventually.
Here’s to reaching out and opening up, that’s the only way big love has room to squeeze in.
—Amy